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29.7.16

Sorting your CV | Blog

Recently I wanted to update our CV's. It isn't because we are looking for jobs or anything like that but because it is always good to have an up to date CV in your files just in case you should ever need it. To be honest, my CV is pretty bog standard. I haven't done a huge amount of roles and at this point in time my career is on hold so I can focus on being the best Mum possible to Bubba. Hubby on the other hand is in the mists of his career journey at the moment and I was really struggling with his CV and how to put everything on it. I was struggling so much that I actually put out a tweet and that was when the Gods of CV writing answered my prays...



Gifted Recruitment asked me to send Hubby's CV over and explained they would take a look at it and give me some pointers. I was expecting to get an email back with a few pointers abut grammar and spelling but what I wasn't expecting was the amazing service I received. Now, bear in mind that this company did not approach me for a review but just chose to help me and I can honestly say I was overwhelmed at their service.

About 30 mins after sending the CV though my phone rang and it was Chris from Gift Recruitment (who is actually the director of the company!) and we spent a good 20 mins chatting. He gave me some great suggestions about re wording parts of the CV, told me to add more in at certain points and remove some at others, we spoke about layout...the list is endless. I could really tell from speaking to Chris how passionate he is about helping people into recruitment and the tips he gave me showed me how experienced he is in his business.

So why I am telling you this?? Well firstly, because I love to rave about good customer service. We are always so quick to rant about bad service so why shouldn't we celebrate the good with as much gusto?? Secondly, I know first hand how daunting it can be going back to work once you have had a baby and to be fair, I was one of the lucky ones! I went back to a job I knew, with people I knew and an environment that was normal to me. I can only imagine how it would have been if I would have been trying to find work after having Bubba. After having a baby our confidence tends to be at an all time low anyway let alone having to find the self belief to write CV's and go to interviews. That is why I wanted to tall you about Gifted Recruitment. They have CV packages starting from as low as £49 and as I have said the service is fantastic!

Not only can you get CV and recruitments services from Gift Recruitment, Chris has also, in the past, run courses and seminars on helping new Mums get back into work. Chris has also written specifically abut dyslexia and recruitment which was really interesting to read.

Be sure to have a look at their website by clicking here and if you have any questions then you can find them on Facebook and twitter by clicking the links :)

28.7.16

Grief | Blog

Until last year I was happy to say that I had never experienced grief before. I had heard people talk about it, seen people on TV who were going through it or had experienced it but I was always pleased to say that I didn't have a clue what grief was or how it felt. Now, I am not so lucky.

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Grief doesn't feel at all like I thought it would. Actually that's a lie, it did last year. Last year when Brissy died I had reacted in jut the way I had expected I would. I had cried. Not cried, sobbed. That type of heavy sobbing where you just feel that you can't breath. The sobbing then faded and my grief turned into a longing. Longing to see him one more time and to tell him everything that hadn't been said. Then, 4 months later, my Grandad passed away. The grief this time was different. It felt more familiar but that did not make it any easier. It felt like deja vu seeing my family torn to pieces again and in amongst the tears of sadness at loosing one of the worlds kindest men, I felt tears of anger that he had been taken and that my family were having to do this all over again. The next few months were strange as it felt like my family had been broken yet united. We were broken by grief yet united as my Nan was now very poorly and it had become a waiting game. I remember feeling sick every time the phone rang or when I saw my Mum calling me. I always thought it was going to be bad news, until one day that phone call came and it was bad news.

I remember the drive to the hospice and I honest thought that I would know how I would feel. I was prepared for the heart ache and the sadness. I was prepared to have to see my poor Dad breakdown after loosing his mum. I was prepared to support my brothers and let them cry onto my shoulder as I did the same back to them. I wasn't prepared for how different it would actually feel when we arrived. I felt physically sick and the tears actually hurt as I sobbed. I remember feeling like I couldn't breath and just feeling so overwhelmed with grief in that moment of having to say goodbye that I had to go outside. The situation was so familiar yet the emotions were so different.

8 months on and we have passed the anniversary of my 2 granddads passing. We have passed fathers days and birthdays and special occasions. They all come and go with the same sense of sadness and longing. I expected all of this to happen. Looking back on it I think I even expected to feel all those different types of grief. What has come as a shock to me though is the way that I feel now. I miss them all just as much as I did the day they left us and I really (naively) believed that as the months went on it would get easier but it hasn't. It's just changed.

Instead of being filled with the overwhelming tears and grief that I had when they all left us, it is now like a surprise grief. A grief that springs on me when I least expect it and I have to do everything in my power to stop myself from breaking down and letting the red hot tears escape from my eyes. It always happens at the most random of moments. Yesterday I was smelling candles in a store and one smelt just like dove soap and I instantly thought of my Nan and remember how very much I miss her and her funny way of getting our names confused. I miss her hands with all of her rings on. I miss her house. I miss asking my Dad how she is if I haven't spoken to her in a while. All of those feelings triggered by one candle! And just in case your wondering, I brought the candle...how could I not??!?

The other time that I get attacked with surprise grief is when I am out. I could be walking down the road to grab some lunch or walking into work and I will see someone out the corner of my eye that will look like my Grandad or Brissy. The first thing that pops into my head is 'What are they doing down here??' as they both lived while away but before my mind can finish thinking why they are here I am reminded that it is impossible. The emptiness and longing feeling washes over me again and I am left for those couple of seconds standing in the street staring at some random person whilst thinking about how much I miss Brissy calling me Darling and how much I miss my seeing my Grandad having a nap after lunch. I then have to pull myself together and carry on. I have become pretty damn good at that in recent months. If I hadn't then I think I would be crying left, right and centre.

So tell me, those of you who have sadly had to go through this too, when does it stop? Does it ever stop? Does it ever get easier and will the tears ever stop threatening to come at a moments notice because of a memory roused by a smell?


This post is lined with:
Hot Pink Wellingtons





26.7.16

Lets Talk About The S Word | Blog

Today I am going to talk about something I haven't really spoken about on here before...SEX.. (sorry mum!!!)
Recently, I had a discussion with a friend who has just had a baby that went a little something like this:

Friend: I need to ask you a question...
Me:      Okay....
Friend: It's a little bit personal and I hope you don't mind and don't feel that you have to answer...
Me:      Okay....
Friend: After you gave birth how did you get back to things in the bedroom?
Me:      Ermmmmm...

I was stunned into silence. This wasn't because my friend had asked me, far from it as I am very encouraging of my friends to talk to me about whatever they want but stunned because I remember 'that' night like it was yesterday.

The first time we tried to be intimate (god I sound so old!!) after having Bubba was when he was about 3 weeks old. I remember a few of my friends at the time talking about the fact that they had been back at it with their hubbys within a week or so of having their babies so I felt a little worried about why we hadn't wanted to sooner. I remember thinking to myself that I really wanted to make an effort and feel sexy but it just didn't happen! It wasn't because of Hubby or anything like that it was just because I had put up so many barriers in my head as to why I didn't want to. I felt unsexy, unconfident, frumpy, uncomfortable and just couldn't get in the mood. It turned out that Hubby felt that way too and needless to say that the most that happened that night was a snuggle whilst we both felt stupid about not being able to get in the mood.

When I explained this to my friend it got me thinking about ways to make that first time after having a baby easier and more comfortable and I wanted to share on here for any of you mummas (or indeed Daddys) who need a little bit of support :)

1. Communicate!!! I can't stress how important this part is!! If you don't speak to each other then the man could be left wondering why the woman isn't in the mood and on the flip side the woman could be worried about why the man can't get in the mood as well. It could cause friction so I would really recommend talking to each other about what is happening. It might be embarrassing but you have just given birth and your man was most probably there to see it so there shouldn't be much to be embarrassed about anymore :)

2. Don't be scared to think about getting some help. You could always go straight in and think about getting Hubby to buy Viagra which will help if he is having any problems but if you want to try some home remedies first then you could think about aphrodisiacs like asparagus or oysters. I don't know if they work but it could be worth a try :)

3. Something really simple you can do is to set the mood. This is hard when you have a new born but it could be something as just lighting a few candles, popping on some music and popping baby into the next room (with a monitor obviously) so you and your mister can have an hour of alone time to give each other some quality time.

4. If it doesn't happen then just remember that it doesn't matter. Don't put pressure on yourselves to get down to it. If your not ready then that's fine. Just make sure you give each other lots of cuddles and kisses and affection to let each other know you still find the other attractive.

So there are my tips for you! Have you got anything you would add to the list?
Let me know in the comments
:)

23.7.16

Sunshine and Smiles | Blog

I was always a bit of a winter person. I loved fuzzy jumpers, rainy movie days and warm blankets but since having bubba I seem to have changed. He is such a summer baby and would practically love outside if I let him. He loves nothing better than being out in the sunshine, playing with bubbles and playing with sand and as he is always outside, I seem to be too.

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I think the reason I wasn't a huge summer fan before was because I got bored so easily. It always seemed like a lovely idea to grab a book and a cold drink and go lay in the garden for an hour but in reality I would get out there, get annoyed with the flys or get super sweaty, have a drink that would have a dead bug in it and end up being blinded by the sun so not able to read my book. Laying and sunbathing is boring to me so I just never really do it.
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But...having Bubba at the age he is now, summer is so different. It is like being a child myself again. I get to play in paddling pools, blow bubbles, play swing ball, build sandcastles...I get to do all the things that I used to do 18 years or so ago and the best part is that no one judges me because I am doing it all with my toddler :)

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They say that children give you a totally different outlook on the world and they are right. Summer, so far, has been wonderful. Filled with suncream, smiles and sandy feet and I have loved every single second!
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