So yesterday, this happened....
I found myself in Costa coffee, babyless. No pram, no changing bag, no dummies and no baby. It was weird. Very very weird.
I go back to work in June and my mum and mother in law will be looking after Bubba for me for the 3 days I'm working so to make the separation less of a shock for Bubba, I am taking him round to the Nannies for an hour or so and just leaving him there. I did it for the first time last week with my Mum and yesterday was the MIL's turn. Typing this up in Costa with a yummy panini and a latte without Bubba was strangely nice. I knew he was being looked after and would be probably terrorising MIL's poor dog without a care in the world and I had my phone so if there was any problems I could get back within 5 mins. To be honest, I was so engrossed ion blogging I didn't really think about him, until I looked across to another table.
There, sitting on his mummy's lap was a little boy that looked about Bubba's age and I just felt this pang in my heart. It made me miss him so much and in that instance I wanted to pack up up laptop and drive straight back to him. Seeing the Mum snuggling her little boy and the bubba holding her face as she showered him with kisses made my heart ache in my chest. I wanted my little boy! I wanted to feel his little hands on my face as I kissed his chubby little cheeks over and over again. It was in that moment that I realised that I missed my baby with all of my heart. I had only been gone for just over an hour and couldn't wait to get back to him, But I made myself stay in that seat. I stayed and carried on writing as I need to miss him and deal with it. I will be leaving him for 8 hours a day soon and need to learn to get this 'missing him' feeling under control as I can't just rush out and go to him.
So...even though I am saying this going whole going round Nanny thing is for him, I think I have realised today that it is actually more for me.
How did you feel when you went back to work? Did you have any ways to stop yourself missing your bubba so much??
Thanks for reading