Yesterday I was sick, properly sick. I couldn't keep anything down including water. I had been up every 2 hours throwing up what little was in my body and come 6am when Bubba woke up I ached. Physically, mentally and emotionally ached. I went in the feed Bubba and it was only when I got up that Hubby saw how sick I actually was that he promptly phoned MIL and asked her to come and look after Bubba for me for the day. So, 30 mins later MIL was in the kitchen like the angel that she is getting Bubba ready to have his breakfast whilst Hubby was packing Bubbas bag. 30 mins later, off my Bubba went.
I felt like a failure. I was so angry at my body for getting so ill that I couldn't look after my own baby. I was so upset that I was in my house, looking at all of his toys, with my mind tricking me that Bubba was just in his room having a nap and any minute I would hear his little snuffles over the monitor. I drifted in and out of sleep pretty much all day and every time I woke up I expected to hear him blowing raspberries from his cot like he does but it didn't happen. I felt so awful that my little boy had been shipped off to his Nannys whilst I felt sorry for myself. I'm not ashamed to admit that I may have even had a few tears about the fact that I had called in sick to being a Mummy yesterday.
Who does that?? Did I not know that motherhood is not a job that you can phone in sick to?!?! I started to think about all of the mothers out there who don't have wonderful family close by like I do and even worse the mothers that have serious, permanent and even debilitating illnesses. I bet they don't phone in sick and wimp out all day. I felt crap, felt like a failure to my Bubba and felt like a failure of a mother.
Roll on 5.30 when Hubby walked through the door with my little boy. Bubba was smiling and chatting away. Hubby told me that both Nannies had said what a good boy he was and how much fun he had been having. Bubba then starting to give me the biggest, most slobbey and loving kisses that I think he has ever given me before. He was so happy and excited to see me. That just made me feel 100 times worse. My mum and friends kept saying to me through out the day 'its okay. You'd be no use to him like this anyway and you wouldn't want him to catch your bug' and to be honest, they may be right but I still couldn't shake the question in my head...is it ever OK for Mummy to call in sick???
What are your thoughts?
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