Last week I spent a lot of time in a theater being a Princess (read all about that here) which meant that Hubby became the main care giver for bubs. I think he thought it was going to be a walk in the park and that WAS the case up until Friday when he took our son out on a trip to a local butterfly and wildlife sanctuary. After his experience there, he now understands why sometimes when he comes home from work I reach for that glass of wine and look frazzled.
I say everyone was happy..that is not strictly true. Hubby was actually pretty wound up and a bit upset. Not because Bubs had a tantrum or wouldn't eat his lunch, but because (once again) of the comments from people around him.
When I got home that night and he told me all about what had happened. He told me that, during Bubba's tantrum, he was getting looked at by a few other parents in the cafe. Not those sympathetic looks that I tend to give people who are struggling with a tantrumming toddler. It was the look of parents who were judging a Dad trying to deal with a temper tantrum. The look of people thinking ''Just control your child'' and all that sort of rubbish that people with 'perfect children' think. What really got to hubby though was when a lady walked past, saw what was going on and said to Hubs ''Ahhh...is he missing his Mummy?''. This is what hit Hubby the most.
I then started thinking...would she have gone up to a me if I was dealing with Bubba at that point and said ''Ahhh...is he missing Daddy?''? I highly doubt that she would have but why not? What is the difference?
The point of this is not only to vent but to plead to anyone that if you see a Dad dealing with a difficult child or situation then don't go making comments about missing mummy or anything like that. Offer some support or if you don't want to be that forward then just give them a supportive smile or nod. Don't make them feel like the lesser parent just because they didn't give birth. They are just as important and capable as us Mummy's are.
Ok. Rant over. Normal service can now resume :)