It's 11 am at toddlers and it's snack time so the biscuits and juice come out. To give you some background, Bubba had his breakfast at 8, had a packet of kiddylicious wafers and a flapjack at 10am and is going to be having his lunch at 12.
I take bubs up to get a biscuit and he grabs a pink wafer which has an additional half of one attached to it (smart kid). I put him down and get myself a coffee.
5 minutes later, Bubba has finished his biscuit and is back at the coffee table.
Bubba - ''waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.......mamamama....ahhhhhhh'' (all whilst reaching up for another biscuit)
Me - ''No Bubba, you've had more than enough. No more''
Bubba - End of the world melt down!!
Me - ''He wants another biscuit but he had has 1 and a half and is having his lunch soon so he isn't aloud anymore''
Lady 1 - ''But clearly he is hungry. Shall I give him one?''
[Sorry but who are you? Do you know my son? Do you know when he is hungry and when he is just having a tantrum? NO...didn't think so!!!]
Me - ''No, he really isn't hungry. He has had more than enough food this morning and is having his lunch soon. He is just having a tantrum and will be fine in a few minutes.''
Bubba - Laying face down on the floor crying until he clocks the lady..now standing up crying to her about about his nasty mummy!
Lady 1 - ''But it's only one biscuit. It won't do any harm''
[WON'T DO ANY HARM?!? WOMAN, I AM DEALING WITH A TANTRUMING TODDLER WHO IS NOW COVERED IN TEARS, SNOT AND BISCUIT CRUMBS AND IS DRAWING LOADS OF ATTENTION TO HIMSELF. I HAVEN'T COME THIS FAR TO GIVE IN NOW!!]
Me - ''But that isn't the point. If I give him one then he will know that he can do this every time he doesn't get his own way. He doesn't need a biscuit as he has already had one and he will get over his tantrum soon. You just have to ignore him.
Lady 1 - (horrified that I said I was ignoring my son) ''Oh it's just so sad seeing the poor little
lamb so upset over something so silly and so unnecessary''.
Lady 2 - ''And you shouldn't ignore them when they are crying as they can struggle to manage
there emotions and ignoring it generally just makes it worse''
[I NEED TO LEAVE THIS AREA NOW BEFORE I STUFF A BISCUIT UP THIS WOMAN'S NOSE!!!]
Me - ''Don't worry. He will be fine soon''.
I then picked up bubba from the floor in his snotty, sprawled out, tantrum fueled mess and moved as far away across the room as possible. Low and behold, what then happens 2 minutes later? Bubba is distracted by a toy car, forgets what he was tantruming over and toddles off merrily on his way.
Me, on the other hand..I feel harassed, beaten down and embarrassed. These two women that probably thought they were doing no harm, made me feel like such a bad parent and made me wish that the ground would literally swallow me up as Bubba was tantruming. What right did they have to make me feel like that?!? I was doing what I thought was right. I was teaching my son that just because he wants something doesn't mean he can have it and has hard as it is for me to sit and watch him having a melt down, I can't give in. Do those women not realise that I would love nothing more than to give in and give him another biscuit as that would stop him crying and would make the tantrum stop? Do they think I like seeing my sons beautiful face all red, angry and tear stained? NO!! No I do not like it but if I give in to him, the same thing will happen next time. He is at the age where he is starting to push boundaries and try to see what is right and wrong. I won't give in.
So interfering women, judge away. Make me feel small and like a bad mother. I don't care because I know that at the end of the day I am doing this so that my son grows up into a well behaved little boy who knows he can't always get his own way.