It's 5.30 in the morning. I have just had the most vivid and disturbing dream I have had in a long time and now I can't get back to sleep. All I can do is look at you and fight the urge to wake you up to tell you all of the things that are running through my head. You see, in this dream we were living in our house, had all of our family round and everything was as it should be. Until you introduced me to Charlotte and told me that you had to go away with her for a few days for work. You were leaving right at that moment so you could go for dinner with her before your flight. She was holding onto your arm, you were standing up straighter than normal and looked more alert and almost glowing..my heart broke in my dream and even now I am awake I have a heavy ache in my chest and a searing headache. Thankfully it was only a dream but I can't help but wonder why it has effected me so much!
Our lives are pretty standard in my opinion. We both work, we spend time as a family, we go on occasional date night but I think that like many couples all over the world that we might neglect each other a little. Not on purpose but just because everything else seems to come before our relationship now. Bubba, work, blogging, the house, our friends, family...and I think that somewhere along the way we have almost lost each other.
You are my soul mate. I know that. You understand me better than anyone else in this world and you know everything about me. You are able to tell what I am thinking and feeling without me saying a word. I am pretty confident when I say that I don't think you would ever break our marriage vows and cheat or have an affair because you are ferociously stubborn and have always said that you would always end the marriage of you were not happy rather than hurt me that much. It's because of this the I find myself asking why I am so upset by dream Charlotte.
After laying here thinking and watching your eyes twitch as you sleep I know what it is. That glow you had about you when you introduced me to dream whore Charlotte (she may be a figment of my subconscious but she still wanted my man!! ;) ) made me jealous. Jealous because I used to give you that glow... I used to make you stand up that little bit straighter and give you that sparkle in your eyes. I know it was just a dream though. I know that but it has made me think that we need to spend a little more time on each other. We used to go for date nights once a month but as the past couple of months have been so busy with the bathroom renovations, plans that I have had to go out, working and everything else that gets in the way, that these date nights haven't happened. I also think that maybe we should agree that once a week or so we won't turn on the laptops or be on phone but we will just be with each other. Be that by watching a film together, cooking dinner together or even just taking half an hour to talk to each other without the distraction of social media or pokemon :)
I know we do talk and we do spend time with each other but it is never really us giving each other our undivided attention. Life always gets in the way and sometimes we need to stop and take a view on things. Hopefully if we can have that little smige of time a week together then dream whore Charlotte won't be popping up in my dreams anymore and making me feel like a jealous loon!!
Love you moo!